Sometimes our own thoughts can hold us back, especially if we tend to dwell on negative events, insecurities, and self-doubt. Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, licensed clinical social worker and international bestselling author. Morin states that it is important to confront thoughts like, “I’m not good enough,” or “I’m too damaged,” and replace them with self-empathy instead, by saying “I am worth it” or “I’m a survivor.”
Many of the things we tell ourselves aren’t true and there’s a good chance that we have developed unhealthy beliefs over the years. We all have them. Learning to recognize the lies we tell ourselves and replacing them with healthier, more realistic statements is key to building mental strength.
However, by letting go of the beliefs we cling to and reframing our unhealthy thoughts isn’t always easy. Believing all these lies will drain us of the mental strength we need to feel and do our best. So, the choice is ours. Do we want to be our best asset or our worst enemy?
Seven Lies to Stop Telling Ourselves
- “I’m not good enough” Everyone believes this lie at one time or another. If we’re convinced we’re not good enough, chances are we won’t try. We won’t put in the effort and work needed to create a better life.
- “Other people will hold me back” Other people may tell us that we can’t succeed, and they may try to hold us back. But convincing ourselves that others will stop us from reaching our goals, does hold us back and prevents us from succeeding. We need to develop a support system that will help us thrive.
- “I can’t stand it” A subtle shift from thinking “I can’t stand this” to “I’m choosing not to do this” can make all the difference in the world. Empower yourself to make good decisions since you want something better, not because you lack the skills and confidence to handle discomfort.
- “My mental health issues keep me from being strong” Mental health is a lot like physical health. We can choose to do exercises that make us strong even, when dealing with a health condition. We need to remind ourselves that no matter what we are battling, we can choose to build mental strength today.
- “I don’t have the willpower” Everyone has willpower, but we need to create an environment that helps us preserve it. (Don’t keep ice cream in the freezer if it sabotages your diet every night.)
- “I’m too damaged” Believing that our emotional wounds have left us too damaged to succeed, gives those old hurts power over our present and our future. If someone is struggling with working through an old hurt, seeing a therapist may help. Tony Kubina LCP works with our weight management program and is available.
- “I’m too different” Standing out from the crowd can be a good thing. Wasting energy trying to fit in may keep us from reaching our full potential. The truth is we probably aren’t as different as we think.